After spending a year working a exhausting job with long hours back home in the USA (I was waking up most days at 4:30 am), It was vitally important that the beginning of my current travels was spent totally off-grid with the attempt to re-connect with myself. Im going to tell you about this magical place we stumbled upon up in the mountains of Indonesia, but first i need to catch you up on this past year of my life.
It honestly was one of the most difficult years mentally. Throughout my past travels and life experiences teaching yoga in Asia, living at ashrams, and doing a lot of inner work, i slowly developed a strong awareness of the things in this life that i'm passionate about, and what i want to focus my energy on. I find peace in living more sustainably with this earth, living in a peaceful setting surrounded by nature, connecting with myself through yoga and meditation, but also putting a lot of energy toward meaningful relationships with those around me. City life, isn't exactly conducive to this sort of living. Its filled with overconsumption, waste, big businesses, crazy traffic, and lots of stress. Don't get me wrong, theres some great things about the cities, but they are just not for me. I find myself constantly anxious, stressed out, and longing for nature.
About 8 months ago i returned back to western city life, after working and teaching yoga throughout Asia for a year. Upon returning to the States, i was left with no money, friends, housing, and direction. All i really wanted to do was live freely, and do yoga. I had a much needed reality check. I started to feel like i was living in this dream life and totally wasting time. I mean, most people my age were graduating college and getting 9-5 jobs. I wasn't feeling very confident in myself... so i made a decision that was probably the only thing i could have done at that point. I dedicated the next year to working and saving as much money as i could, and then once i felt more stable i could decide what to do with my life.
I got a pretty good job working in the city, and luckily i was able to live at home to save even more money ( I totally understand that is something that not everyone can do). I was putting in as many hours as i could, and it was very exhausting. It wasn't necessarily the job that was making me suffer, but the fact that i was not living in a way that i believed in. I was completely disconnected to my yoga practice, to myself, and to my inner truth.
I had absolutely NO energy to do the things that i was passionate about. I ended up spending the days i wasn't working hiding away in the corner of a room wrapped in a blanket. There was zero inspiration inside me for life. But honestly, being this depressed, made me work even harder to escape this life. The seductive idea of escaping was driving me forward.
Fast forward 8 months and i'm on a plane to Asia. I realized, the only way for me to move forward in life was to follow the path that felt right inside me. If we follow this voice, it will lead us exactly where we need to be, in order to fulfill our true life path. For now i am focusing on healing and yoga, but after this first month, i will take some teaching jobs and try to build my business a little bit more. I am confident that somehow life will lead me to where i need to be, but only if i truly listen.
We flew into Denpasar a couple nights ago, and immediately took a car up into the mountains to a eco-community and farm-stay. All i hear at night is the peaceful sounds of crickets and the far off noise of a rushing river. Im filled with immense amounts of gratitude towards being able to go off the grid and reconnect with myself. We've been spending these days so far doing yoga, walking through the jungle, and eating delicious ripe fruit. I feel at home and connected to my body. A feeling that i remember so well, but haven't felt in months.
What are some things in your life that make you feel connected?